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Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Dramafied Characters in the Drama Triangle

Any dramafied character can be seduced into playing a role in the game of the Drama Triangle. Disagreement threatens their belief systems.
NOTE: These are generic responses without a transactional context.





You're just trying to make me crazier than I already feel.

Don't tell me things I don't want to know. I won't let you scare me.

Don't be afraid of what you don't know. It might help you.




You're only trying to make me feel inferior. You don't get it.

You're delusional. Get some help.

If you're triggered by everything I say, I can't help you understand.





I don't know anything and what I do know is wrong. I'm so ashamed.

You're just trying to make me feel bad about what I know.

You poor thing. You're as bad off as I am.




It doesn't matter because nothing really matters.

You don't really care about anything either. Not really.

It's okay you don't have all the answers. No one does.




I can't believe I didn't know this. What a fool I have been.

Based on what I already knew, now I know more than you do.

Let me teach you what you need to know.   
Recognizing when playing a role in the Drama Triangle is vital to growing and learning. Breaking out of the Drama Triangle requires self reflection to overcome a resistance to accepting and integrating new information.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Dramafied Disagreement in the Drama Triangle

Stephen Karpman, MD, a student of Eric Berne (transactional analysis) developed the social model of the Drama Triangle. Unlike dramafied behaviors and transactions that support learning, the Drama Triangle is a closed system that denies embracing new knowledge. Participants are more invested in emotional drama than outcomes. The Drama Triangle describes the roles we play in transactions to avoid thinking.

The Drama Triangle is a game of deflection. Rather than seeking resolution, the reactive characters who play the roles of Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer are unwilling to go past their feelings and embrace new thinking. In addition, Karpman observed that we can be seduced by the energy generated in conflict. Drama, drama, drama.

VICTIMS are helpless and ashamed, deniers of personal responsibility for their attitude and actions. To win means to have everyone's attention and pity.
PERSECUTORS are bullies who blame and take no responsibility for any harm they cause to others. To win means to shut down an interaction.
RESCUERS are needy caretakers seeking to be seen as good even at their own expense, ignoring underlying conflicts. To win means to make everyone happy.
The only way to escape the games played in the Drama Triangle is to stop playing. If you want to see the drama triangle in action, participate in a volatile political or religious thread on Twitter. Fallacies of thought are often used to maintain the drama.  

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Overcoming Resistance to New Thinking

Whether due to differences in ideology, perspectives -- or even upbringing -- we understand our world in our own ways. We gather facts and determine what they mean. Sometimes the same facts produce conflicting opinions. "Agreeing to disagree" is a way of recognizing differences. In the alternative, we simply disagree.

When new facts threaten our sense of what is correct, we can fight, run away or think more deeply about our opinions and beliefs. The reactive characters respond to conflicting opinions in their own way. Replacing reaction with thought is the ultimate goal. Here are examples of moving from reactivity to thinking.




            AH HA

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Dramafied Triggers of Learning

Emotional triggers are a survival response. As part of growing up, we associated pain with whatever else was happening when we got hurt. Each of us has personal triggers that promote reactive behaviors. We can't control our triggers, especially those from early childhood experience. We can learn to manage them IF we recognize they exist. Otherwise, we resist learning new knowledge.

                                               When EEK is emotionally triggered.

When GRR is emotionally triggered.


When POO is emotionally triggered.

When UGH is emotionally triggered.


When AH HA is emotionally triggered.


Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Dramafied Resistance to Learning

Embracing and integrating new information is challenging, especially if it cracks the foundation of what you believe you already know. Nor is it unusual to get stuck during the natural progression that leads to to acceptance. Reactive behaviors to new knowledge includes:

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Dramafied Characters of Reactive Emotion

The dramafied process of integrating new knowledge (especially when in threatens a foundation of belief and understanding)  provokes emotion and resistance. Surrendering to your feelings is less about control and more about management. The order of emotional experience can vary and periodically turn in on itself.These are the main characters:.

EEK is about fear and the freak out that comes with confronting new information whose ramifications could force you to change your mind. Your sense of security and confidence is challenged.

GRR is a natural followup of the anger and frustration as you re-evaluate your beliefs.

POO can result in feelings of defeat because you are forced to recognize denial. However, it can also be an indication of your willingness to grieve over letting go of old beliefs.

UGH, like POO, can move you forward or stop you in your tracks with the depression that comes from recognizing a change is needed. However, it can also serve as a waiting period while your thoughts and emotions move towards acceptance.

AH HA is the payoff. There is great joy in changing your mind due to new knowledge, The spark of the moment of AH HA brings information together in a way that opens the door to new knowledge.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

The Dramafied Feeling Map

Whether it is face-to-face or online, interactions stimulate both thinking and feeling. The Dramafied Feeling Map is a way to track reactions to facts and opinions that contradict what we believe to be true. Articulating how we feel is a first step, but management is usually required.

EEEK is not only as much about surprise as it is fear. New information can threaten to disrupt the foundation of understanding.

POO allows sadness to turn into denial. New  information can threaten one's sense of self and identity.

UGH is a way of shutting down in frustration. New information may be blocked.

GRRR is the anger that comes with rejection that surfaces when our foundation of belief and understanding is threatened.

AH HA is that special moment of validation or acceptance when we integrate new information and gain new insight.

We cycle through these emotions when learning new information. Why? Because we are living beings. Not even the best science of the brain explains what that means.

Acknowledging emotional baggage helps us manage those feelings so we can think with greater vision and clarity.